


Peter Parker Goes To Arendelle

by larrystylickson



Series: All The Weirdest Spiderman Crossovers Ever [2]
Category: Frozen (2013), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Secret Identity, anna and elsa are mutant activists, happy hogan hates his job, peter parker goes on vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 23:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15400179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrystylickson/pseuds/larrystylickson
Summary: When Spiderman goes to Arendelle for Queen Elsa's first royal summit for mutants and other extra-ordinaries, he meets an interesting cast of characters.





	Peter Parker Goes To Arendelle

The second time that Peter had been on a plane felt a whole lot different than the first. Well, second if you don’t count the time he was dangling off an invisible cargo jet. Peter personally didn’t, although he figured that the statement remained true either way.

But this time (thank god) he was inside the plane. A plane that was somehow even fancier than Tony Stark’s private jet. That idea was confirmed when Peter was served caviar on a silver dish. He took one bite and decided it kind of tasted like the inside of a fish’s asshole.

“Happy?” Peter asked nervously. 

The man threw down his crossword puzzle. 

“What?” He said in an exasperated tone. 

“Can you, uh, get rid of this?” Peter asked, thrusting the caviar towards Happy.

“And why would I do that?”

“Because it kind of tastes like, really bad, but I don’t want them to think that I’m rude.” Peter said in a hushed tone. Aunt May always told him to finish any food people give him, because in some cultures not eating the food was a huge insult.

“Peter-” Happy sighed out, but before he could finish his sentence he was interrupted by a “shh” that sounded more like a mouth spasm. The sound seemed to gather a lot more attention from the flight attendants than their previous conversation.

“Don’t say my name!” Peter groaned. “I don’t know if I can trust these people!” 

That was another thing that was different about this whole flight. Peter had to be in his spidey suit for the whole 9 hours of it. It was kind of a pain in the ass when he had to go to the washroom (he kept his mask on, just in case the plane had any hidden cameras), but at least when he was playing cards with happy earlier, Karen would help him cheat. 

“Sorry, Spiderman.” Happy said begrudgingly. 

“Now can you get rid of this?” Peter pleaded.

“Two servings of caviar isn’t on my diet plan.” Happy grumbled, but took the dish anyways, scarfing it down quickly. 

\-----------  
Peter didn’t know exactly what he was expecting when he arrived in Arendelle, but his first thoughts were that he had never seen a place so beautiful. What Peter did know about the small northern European country was limited. He remembered they had a lot to do with ice, and until the 20th century, would produce nearly 40% of all ice exports in Europe. Which was impressive for a country their size. They had an annual ice-carving festival. 

And there was the fact that their 21-year-old queen had crazy ice/snow/who knows what else powers. Currently the youngest queen in the world, Queen Elsa was also the only known monarch in history to be born a mutant.

Of course, that was the whole reason Spiderman was invited to a royal summit for mutants and other people with “extraordinary talents”. In the year since Queen Elsa had taken power, her and her younger sister, Princess Anna, had become frontline activists in the ethical treatment of mutated people.

Peter received an invite through Stark Industries, as that was the only place anyone knew Spiderman was tied to. Mr. Stark had said he was much too busy to go with Peter, but if Aunt May would agree to it, Happy would be glad to escort him. To be honest, Peter didn’t really believe his excuse. He’s pretty sure Mr. Stark wasn’t invited. He is Iron Man, but he doesn’t really fall into the mutated category. 

May didn’t take much convincing (well, after days of her grilling Tony on the legitimacy of this invite and copious research on Arendelle), and Peter was cleared to go to Europe for the second time in the past two years. 

Looking around, Peter thought that it must be the most scenic place in all of Europe. The mountains looked like they went on forever, the ocean was crystal clear, and even the people were gorgeous. They never seemed to stop smiling. The whole thing felt like it couldn’t be real.

Peter felt like he was in a cartoon. 

Although Peter’s admiration of the view was interrupted, when a cold, wet feeling suddenly pressed up against his leg. Glancing down at his side, Peter screamed. 

He had just seen something that he would never have expected. 

“Hi, Spiderman! My name’s Olaf, and I like warm hugs.” The thing said, as Peter was still screaming.

“What...what are you?” Peter exclaimed, moving away from it. “Are you an alien? Please don’t put your eggs in me.”

“No.” Olaf said. “I can’t lay eggs. I wish I could, though. Imagine how cute it would be if there were hundreds of little me’s wandering around…I could name one Carl, and one Harry, and-”

Olaf trailed off into a long list of names as Peter tried to get a comfortable distance away from him.

“Karen?” Peter whispered into his suit. “Should I be afraid of this thing?”

Before Karen could answer, Olaf was interrupted from his list by a beautiful young girl in a long, green dress. Peter felt like he recognized her from somewhere, but couldn’t quite place it. 

“Olaf!” The girl shouted as she ran towards them. “What did I tell you about talking to our international guests before the summit. Elsa told you we’d introduce you then. Without any context you can be a little...intimidating.” The girl said. 

“C’mon Anna!” Olaf protested. “It’s Spiderman. He fights aliens, he wouldn’t be afraid of lil ol’ me.”

Anna! That’s why Peter recognized the girl! She was Princess Anna, the second heir to the throne of Arendelle. Peter felt slightly relieved, knowing that if this….thing belonged to the Arendelle throne, it probably wasn’t going to put eggs in him.

“Was he scaring you?” Anna asked Peter, trying to invalidate her creepy little friend.

“No!” Peter assured, although his voice came out about two octaves too high. “No.” He said again, lowering his voice. 

Shit. 

The princess of Arendelle totally thought Spiderman was a loser now. 

“Go back to the palace, Olaf.” Anna said, and the little monster walked off sadly. “Sorry about that, Spiderm- uh, Mr. Man- Mr. Spider-” Anna stuttered.

“Spidey is fine.” Peter let out.

“Spidey, then.” Anna said, regaining her composure, and held out her hand to shake. “I’m Princess Anna, of Arendelle.”

“Spidey.” Peter said again, shaking Anna’s hand. “Of um...Queens.”

“I thought you were from New York City?” Anna questioned.

“Oh, um, yeah.” Peter was glad he had his mask on, because he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “Queens is like, a neighbourhood. In New York City.”

“Ohh-” Anna began, but she was interrupted by a large blonde man and a reindeer, suddenly attached to her side. 

“Who do we have here?” Asked the nord-ish man. 

“Kristoff!” scolded Anna. “Stop puffing out your chest, this is Spiderman, one of Queen Elsa’s important guests.” 

“Oh.” the man deflated, chuckling. He suddenly seemed much less intimidating. “I’m Kristoff.” The guy said, and pulled Peter in for an unexpected hug. A strong hug too. The kind that would likely crush someone that wasn’t of super-human strength. 

“Spidey.” Peter said, a bit awkwardly as he fell out of Kristoff’s embrace. 

“Sorry.” Said Anna. “He’s the jealous type.” 

“Me?” scoffed Kristoff. “Jealous?”

The reindeer neighed. 

“You stay out of this!” Kristoff told the deer, quite seriously.

As if Olaf the gremlin wasn’t enough, Peter now had to come to terms with the fact that in Arendelle, reindeer could understand english. Great.

Just then, a huge bell sound rang throughout the village.

“Oh!” squealed Anna. “That means it’s time for the welcoming ceremony. Follow us Spidey, we’ll take you to the palace. 

Peter followed as asked, but he could tell this was going to be a weird trip.


End file.
